Why Did This Happen To Me?

I just found out that someone that really hurt me lost their job recently. My first reaction was, Huh. He finally he got his. Wow, what a nice Christian thought—NOT! I then softened as the day went by and thought something like, Well, you know, what goes around comes around. Wow, that was another un-Christian thought. Luckily, this morning I did some praying and soul searching and started adjusting my self talk. I decided I needed to reach out and help him. I have been where he is and needed help. So I have reached out to him, and we will see what happens.

Hearing his news also brought back some bad memories of the emotional roller coaster ride I took two years ago when I lost my job. Those horrible memories of how hard it was flooded back to me—those feelings of self doubt, anger, frustration, and of course, all the “Why me?” questions. This job transition thing is really hard on you, your family, and even your friends. I decided today I am going to share some of the motivators that helped me with my transition.

First, let your emotions flow. It is okay to cry. I know guys don’t cry. So if you are not a crier, go build something or punch a punching bag—whatever you need to do to let your emotions run wild. Let them out. You are going to go through the grieving process, and that is normal, natural, and supposed to happen. It is okay to journey through those stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I think it is important to go into the next few days, weeks, and even months knowing it is okay to grieve and that you will get through it. So go ahead and give yourself permission to show a little emotion.

Next, get moving. Go do something, even if it is as simple as a walk. Or maybe you would prefer to get coffee with a friend. What I found for myself and my clients is how important it is to move and do something. Don’t sit around the house feeling sorry for yourself or getting madder about the situation. Do something. Sure, it would be great if it were something related to a job search, but sometimes you aren’t ready for that yet. At least do something for yourself. The people at the YMCA knew something was different with me. I was going there every day for a couple hours. That really worked for me. I got in better shape, I met new friends, and it gave me some purpose. I don’t know what it is for you that will get you moving, but please do something active. Like Anthony Robbins said, “Motion creates emotion.” Get Moving!

Finally, fill yourself with good stuff. No, I don’t mean go on an eating binge, although eating some Girl Scouts Thin Mints can be helpful. What I really mean is start reading, listening to podcasts and music and asking for good thoughts and prayers from the people you know. I have been a reader for the past 23 years. I know that because I started reading when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I wanted her to be a reader because I wasn’t. It didn’t really work for her but her younger sister caught the reading bug.

Sorry, I digressed there. If you aren’t a natural reader, start with audio books. You can use something the Audible app on your smart phone. It is an easy way to start feeding yourself the good stuff. I highly recommend Get Off Your “But” by Sean Stephenson and Anthony Robbins. Do whatever it is that gets positive thoughts and ideas flowing into you. It is easy to get stuck in the negative, so you need to consciously feed yourself with positive, uplifting thoughts. It is your job to motivate yourself and keep the good things coming your way.

There are other motivators that worked for me in my job transition, but these three seemed to make the biggest difference in my life and in the lives of those that I coach. I recommend you let your emotions flow, get out there and move, and finally, surround yourself with positive influences.

What will be your first step be to move forward?

Share this article.