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Why Are They Not Picking Me?

The call I received last week went something like this: “I am getting phone interviews but nothing happens after that. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong.”

I reminded Karla she was ahead of the game since she was getting calls, as well as interviews, and that meant her cover letter and résumé were great. That simple statement seemed to ease her mind a little. But I could tell we needed to dig deeper. As we talked, she decided that maybe her frustration and overall cynicism was coming across the phone lines. After this important discovery, we immediately started working on what we could do to help adjust her mindset.

We started by exploring her attitude and realized that “her frustrated attitude” was a big part of the problem. She was allowing herself to become frustrated because she wasn’t focusing on her strengths. Instead, she was focusing on what was wrong and what wasn’t working. We went back to the first coaching exercise, the Golden Hour, she had completed months earlier. The Golden Hour is an exercise where you spend one hour listing all your strengths and gifts. Since Karla had started spiraling down and thinking negatively, she knew she needed to do something that would put her back in the right frame of mind.

She decided she would start reviewing her list of strengths at least one time a day. It is powerful practice to feed your mind with good things (especially when they are about you and said by you). We hear so much negative in the world that it is easy to get stuck on that side of the energy cycle. So by beginning to read her strengths one to two times per day, she would be able to do a mental reset.

The second idea we explored was gaining more clarity about her Dream Job and what she really wanted to do. When she got down, it was easy to start questioning what she wanted. She didn’t realize she had talked herself into believing she could not get what she really wanted. She had actually taken her Dream Job and watered it down so much she didn’t even recognize it as her Dream Job. She needed to keep in mind why she had created her own job description. It was a clear and specific view of the perfect job for her.

The picture you paint about your Dream Job needs to be vivid and detailed so your mind can start focusing on what you want in your ideal job. The reason this works so well is there is a part of your brain called the reticular activator. It is the part of the brain that notices things. I always use the example of a woman who has recently become pregnant and now she sees pregnant ladies everywhere. There aren’t anymore pregnant ladies than there were before; her reticular activator is turned on and she is noticing them. The same can be true for you when you are looking for your Dream Job. Once you get the job clear in your mind, you will start noticing more job opportunities and more situations that will help you secure that role. So that clarity of writing your Dream Job description can really jump start your job search.

Karla and I started with these two ideas, and as of yesterday, she seems to be on the right track. If you feel like you just aren’t getting anywhere in your job hunt, go back to the basics and get your mental state where it needs to be: focused on your strengths as well as the job you really want.

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