Did I Do Something Wrong?

I often hear the question: Did I do something wrong? It is usually immediately following a layoff, a termination or even after an interview that didn’t work out. I can’t give a blanket answer to this question. I don’t know if you did something wrong or not. What I can do is offer some suggestions on what to do instead.

It is wise to ask yourself the question of blame but to not beat yourself up with it. I recommend taking personal accountability. You have heard me talk about that many times. You must really look at the situation and decide if you did or didn’t do something wrong. Look at it objectively rather than criticize yourself. Maybe you did do something wrong. Maybe you didn’t do what you were asked to do. Maybe you failed to meet the company’s expectations regarding attendance or punctuality. Maybe you weren’t giving 100 percent. If that is the case, look at the facts and admit them to yourself, then figure out what you will do about it. Do a little root cause analysis on why you did it. Figure out the real reason you made the choices you did. I have found uncovering the why is key. You have to be brutal with yourself. You must be totally candid and look at the situation as an outsider would look at it.

So now you have discovered your wrong doing, as well as the reason behind the situation. What now? You must figure out if you want to and are willing to put in the work to fix the situation. I worked with a good friend that got fired from a job that he, at least at one time, loved. What we found out is that he had lost his passion for what he was doing. He started “phoning it in” every day. What I mean by that is, he went through the motions but he really wasn’t giving any true effort. He had gotten lazy. He was coming in a little later, he was taking longer lunches, and he was leaving a little earlier. At first, it didn’t impact his work, or at least he thought it didn’t. His team thought differently. They couldn’t find him when they needed him. They had to cover for him when the boss started asking questions. We started working on his exit plan once he discovered his lack of passion for his work. It was too late. He got fired before he had a new position. He didn’t get to leave on his own terms because he didn’t take action soon enough. In his case, he lost his passion for his work and wasn’t willing to stay focused long enough to leave his job in a healthy way. Don’t let that happen to you.

What if you ask the question, and you figure out your really didn’t do anything wrong. You just happened to be a part of a company that decided to move. Maybe you choose to move with your spouse. Maybe they are shutting your plant down. You have taken the inventory of the situation and figured out you have done nothing wrong, yet you are still in job transition. What do you do now? You have to let it go. I know that is much easier said than done. It happens; life isn’t always fair. The thing that I see that works best for my clients is to let it go. You have to accept that life isn’t fair, and you must move on and start accepting where you are and take action.

Whether you figure out you did or didn’t do something wrong doesn’t really matter. The key is to accept your circumstances and get moving in the direction you want to be heading.

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